i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
