I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
she looked like the before picture.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
