Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I love having hate sex.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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