The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
