Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize