Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
