Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
how does that bad decision feel?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
