im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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