Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
