Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
