I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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