3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Bring me that man meat
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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