we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
