the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
