We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
