38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
