My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
