Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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