I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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