So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
