you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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