I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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