it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
