Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
