what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
