We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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