oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
