Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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