I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
