He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
