If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
