girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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