Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
