That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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