We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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