guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He keeps bees of course he's weird
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
