Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
