but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
sarcasm needs its own font
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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