y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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