We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
