Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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