Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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