walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
