just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
