I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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