when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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