i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize