I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
