so explain again why im purple
no
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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