I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
