so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
