remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize