"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
