remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
