Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
