watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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