Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
