Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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