it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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