New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it was like eating out sand paper
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
