I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
