i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
