I am puke
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
