Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
