Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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